Sidewalk Cafe

MarketPlace at Collegeville Shopping Center, Collegeville, PA

 

As I have said on many occasions, location is almost everything when it comes to restaurants. A good location can generate those walk-ins and drive-bys who become regular customers. A bad one can guarantee that you are never noticed. Further, your restaurant should reflect its location: we just saw an ad that the local indoor go-cart track now has Indian cuisine! Seriously? 

 

I also am saddened by restaurants that lack an identity or sort of have an identity but don’t seem willing to go all the way with it.

 

This of course leads me to Sidewalk Cafe, the latest entry in the Collegeville dining scene, such as it is. First, it’s in the Marketplace, which is set back from the road, and unless you’re really looking, there is no way you would have any idea the Sidewalk Cafe exists. It actually is just a couple of doors down from the recently reviewed Tortugas, which has proven that a restaurant can succeed there. However, Tortugas is part of a mini-chain, so the owners were likely able to be more patient with the growth of Tortugas; further, Tortugas is the only Mexican place in a 15-minute radius, so they likely had an easier time getting customers.

 

We were the first customers of the morning; we almost didn’t go in at 8:30 because the Open sign wasn’t lit up, but noticed other lights on and the hours posted them being open at 8. Let’s deal with the hours shall we?

 

Tuesday-Wednesday: 8a-4p

Thursday-Saturday: 8a-8:30p

Sunday: 8a-2p

 

Wow, ok. You really don’t know what you want to do, do you? Listen, if you’re going to be a breakfast and lunch place, that’s awesome: just close at 2 and be done with it. No one will eat there between 2 and 4. But, then you’re going to go ahead and try for dinner on weekends. Um, good luck with that. Here are some dinner menu items from the menu we grabbed on the way out:

 

Stuffed Chicken Breast $14.95

Salmon $12.95

Grilled Steak $13.95

 

(BTW, we had two different menus, with mine being cheaper and less extensive; we can assume then that they are still working out some menu issues, but also not bothering to hide those menu issues from customers)

 

OK, I’m going to assume that the dinner menu goes into more detail, but I’m also not sure about that. Regardless, the price point seems way off considering that the interior is composed of metal chairs, tile floors, and several paint ‘techniques,’ including a drop ceiling painted to resemble the sky. Also, the sleep-inducing piano music (are we on the sidewalk outside John Tesh’s house?) doesn’t help. The sidewalk effect is achieved indoors by having an entire wall with two windows and a door and an awning (this is indoors, mind you, so the panes of glass are replaced with mirrors). Ironically, the Sidewalk Cafe does not actually have seating on the real sidewalk outside of it. 

 

So, what other identity might Sidewalk Cafe be playing with? Well, their tagline appears to be “Eat Well — Be Well.” OK, healthy, good food? Or high quality food? And, indeed, for breakfast they had a ‘lite-bite sandwich’ and organic multigrain pancakes. They also offer breads from the fabulous Le Bus Bakery. Their lunch offerings also feature a burger made from organic beef and they have a seitan sandwich. Here’s my issue though: if you’re going to go in this direction, then go this direction. But, the rest of the breakfast and lunch menus are pedestrian, diner fare. I actually think that a high quality breakfast/lunch place that featured creative breakfasts and sandwiches might fare well in this area (I’ll review Nudy’s soon), but Sidewalk Cafe only peeks in that directions. Without a hook, I think this place probably has until the end of the year, if that.

 

It’s actually too bad because what we had was good. The home fries were well-cooked, though not remarkably seasoned. The scrambled eggs were a little harder than I’d like, but still nice (and definitely preferable to runny). The bacon was quite good and the bread wonderful. The service was good enough, as were the prices for breakfast (aided by a coupon).

 

Here’s the thing though: there’s really not quite enough for me to come back really. I certainly wouldn’t consider dinner. I might consider lunch or breakfast, but the place is a little depressing and a veggie burger for $7.50 doesn’t exactly scream great bargain to me. As with any restaurant that wasn’t evil to me, I wish them luck, but I think they may be stuck with a location and concept that don’t work very well.

Patti Jean’s Diner

1968 W. Main St., Jeffersonville, PA

In our never-ending quest for weekend breakfast spots, we decided to try out this place in the slightly hardscrabble no-man’s land between Norristown and Collegeville.

Food-wise, it was largely acceptable: the bacon was a tad too crispy and the eggs a little too dry, but the potatoes were a good balance of crispy and not. The service was good overall, and the prices very reasonable.

Nothing to disparage really, but nothing to write home about either.

However, the menu is really the star of this place. That is, apparently Patti Jean let the world’s worst editor at her menu, because it is a never-ending source of typo fun (somehow, the takeout menu was largely saved from this). We’re not just talking misplaced commas or apostrophes, though there are plenty of those. No, we’re talking, major misspellings, including ‘omlet’ and ’scarple’. There seems to be a problem with spuds, as you can get either ‘patato skins’ or ‘mushed potatoes.’ I know ampersands can be confusing, but to replace them with percentage signs seems counterproductive, especially when it becomes a ‘egg cheese % meat sandwich’ — not exactly appetizing. Nor, frankly, is my favorite typo dish: the ‘fish filled sandwich.’ I suppose it’s better than a fish filler sandwich, but neither are good.

So, if you’d like some typo humor and decent enough food, do go to Patti Jean’s.

Collegeville Diner

290 Main Street, Collegeville, PA

http://www.collegevillediner.com/

When we first moved to Collegeville, there was a Pizza Hut on the corner. Sadly to some, I love me some Pizza Hut, but we didn’t go often. So, when the Collegeville Diner rose from the rubble of the PH, we were pleased, though we didn’t see the absolute need for another diner, since they seem to be everywhere in this area. Within ten minutes, there are probably half a dozen places we could go for our weekend morning breakfast, the time we’re most likely to go to a diner.

However, the Collegeville Diner has pleasantly surprised us. Beyond breakfast, they offer good food at decent prices — and service is quick. Breakfast though is what we normally go there for, and so:

We each got the #1 — your basic two egg breakfast with coffee and (a thimble of) juice included, all for less than $5. The eggs were quite good: the scrambled ones weren’t soupy nor rock hard, and the over easy were good, so Rick said. The bacon is good quality as well — enough crisp that they can stand on their own, but not burnt. Also, the home fries walk that difficult line of crisp/tender well — with enough crunchy bits to keep me satisfied.

So, Collegeville Diner will remain a standby for breakfast — and any other time we need a place where anyone can find anything to eat.